Hevitra ato Anatiny
We know that touch has a healing power. Mothers stroke babies – and they laugh and walk. The lovers timidly take each other’s hands, and at that moment thousands of butterflies beat their wings inside them. We hug a friend who is going through difficult times, and we know that our shoulder will become his support.
Of course, the touches of our partners are of particular importance. If there is an honest, warm and healthy relationship between us and our loved one, in most cases his touch will give us exceptional pleasure. But is it worth touching a partner if he is currently talking about something that makes him nervous?
On the one hand, it seems that with our own hands we can reduce the stress level of a loved one and express support for him. On the other hand, often we don’t even try to hug someone who is feeling bad right now, because we think: “He should definitely be alone right now.” What if we only make things worse?
Why are you touching me?
Why do we even need to touch each other? Are words not enough? On the one hand, touch means that we are in close relationship with the one we touch. This is how we show that we will provide support if needed. This is confirmed by the results of a study published in the journal Social and Personal Relations.
Psychologists from the universities of Syracuse and Carnegie Mellon (USA) have studied how the touch of partners affects us at times when we are scared or hard. Their study involved 210 married couples. Volunteers first answered questions about how satisfied they were with their relationship. After the process of communication between partners, they recorded it on video to explore the non-verbal side of the matter.
The researchers asked one of the partners to tell the other about what makes him nervous. The factor causing stress could be anything – from problems at work to illnesses and quarrels with loved ones. The only thing, the subject of unrest should not have touched on intimate relationships between the participants. The couple were given eight minutes to talk about a specific issue, after which they were asked to switch roles.
Touch helps create a safe haven that avoids undue suffering.
The results of the study confirmed that the touch of loved ones really matters a lot. Those participants who were stroked and comforted by hand in the process of conversations more than others reported that their self-esteem increased, while tension, on the contrary, decreased. They were also more likely to say that they were able to cope with their problems.
Significantly, both those “touching” participants who listened and those who shared their problems perceived their partner more positively than those who touched their loved ones less often and were less likely to receive “pats” from partners.
In one move
It turns out that touching another is useful in any case. Touch helps create a safe haven that avoids undue suffering, scientists say. So the next time your lover starts complaining about an unbearable boss, or when your beloved talks about another quarrel over a parking lot, just pat him on the arm. Even if it doesn’t make your partners update their resumes or consider buying a garage space, it will make things a little easier for them. Science confirms this.