Fampiofanana variana: Karazana fiankinan-doha vaovao

I find good professional training effective. They help those who want change and are ready for it. But in the last couple of years, more and more of those who are looking for a «magic pill» — quick changes in life without effort on their part.

They constantly attend new classes and easily become training addicts. You must have seen such people. Usually they have a unique «knowledge» about the structure of the world, unique and indisputable, and they constantly go to trainings. Passion for trainings is a new “trend” in certain circles, a new religious trend. Although, for me, this is rather a new way not to live, but to play life, developing new qualities and practicing new skills in trainings. But don’t risk using them.

Obsessed training does not help. It is interesting that such «fanatic» visitors are extremely changeable. As long as they are encouraged by new knowledge and receive enough attention from the «guru», they remain faithful, but can quickly defect. Overthrow one idea and become an adherent of another. Despite the fact that these ideas and knowledge can change to the exact opposite — from Buddhism to atheism, from a Vedic woman to a Tantric woman …

The obsessed with enthusiasm and devotion in their eyes convey to the guru the most valuable thing — responsibility for their lives.

For this, they demand knowledge that will change their lives: “How can I live, in general, what is right and what is not right! By the way, I don’t want to think, I decide myself too. Teach me, O great guru. Yes, yes, I understood everything (understood) … no, I won’t do it. What should be done? No, we didn’t agree like that .. I’m for a magic pill. How not?”

Training, but not a magic pill

What is training? It’s a SKILL, like in sports — you went to the training to pump the press and then do not expect that he will swing. Training is a foundation, a zero level, a deposit, an impulse, and the action begins when you leave the training.

Or take business training. You study business processes, become more competent in this area, and then you bring new knowledge and yourself new to your specific business and change it, making it more efficient. The same goes for personal development training.

The obsessed have a big problem with this. Because you don’t want to take action. I don’t want to think. Analyze, don’t want to change. And after the training, when it’s time to act, resistance arises — “For some reason I can’t leave the house, I can’t start doing something, I can’t meet a man …” Give me one more magic pill. “I decided to get acquainted with a man and went to the training”… six months have passed… have you met? “No, I have resistance.”

And, after several years, and maybe even earlier, when the magic pill did not work, they are disappointed in the coach, in the direction, in the school. And what do you think they do? Looking for another coach. And everything repeats again — devoted eyes, propaganda of ideas, expectation of a miracle, «resistance», disappointment …

Coach as a parent

Sometimes it’s not about training at all.

Sometimes the obsessed goes to trainings, trying to finish the child-parent relationship in order to finally win, to get approval, recognition, admiration from the parent. In such cases, the coach-guru acts as a «parent».

Then adult critical thinking turns off, the censor dissolves, contact with one’s desires disappears (if any) and the “parent-child” scheme turns on, where the parent says what to do, and the child either obeys or acts like a hooligan.

But this does not change the life of the child in any way, because all he does this for is to get attention from the parent. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good parent or a bad one.

By the way, this explains the huge interest in the trainings, where there are very strict conditions for treating participants. There is an inner feeling of «usual», fair, familiar. This is if it was accepted in the family. If relations with parents were cold, maybe even cruel (and in Russia this is perhaps every second family), then at such a training a participant feels at home, in a familiar environment. And unconsciously he wants to finally find a “solution” — that is, to defend his right to life or get the attention of a coach.

There is no inner core, no skill and habit and experience to rely on someone big and supportive who can help me overcome difficulties.

How to help the obsessed

If someone you know has already gone through dozens of trainings, but nothing changes in his life, suggest that he stop. Take a break and think. Maybe he doesn’t need it at all. For example, at my training on how to get married, there will definitely be someone who, as a result of working with himself, realizes that he DOES NOT WANT to get married, and the desire was dictated by the pressure of relatives, society, he cannot cope with internal anxiety alone. And what a relief comes at the moment when, having realized unwillingness, a woman allows herself not to want. How long joy, strength, energy, inspiration opens up when you can direct your energy and attention to where it is really interesting.

If you want to take care of yourself, you can find a good psychologist who will help you return to the resource, feel yourself and understand your goals and priorities. A great way to break out of an obsession is to return to your strong and mature position, and this can be done through the body. Dancing, sports, attention to your needs, feelings and sensations. Sometimes, oddly enough, health problems, general fatigue and, as a result, increased anxiety can be behind the need for training.

Trainings are effective and useful for those who are ready to change their lives. They can become a magical pendel, a testing ground for broadening one’s horizons, mastering new communication skills and interacting with people and with life.

Training cannot give any guarantee that your life will change.

You will get enough information and tools to change it.

But you have to change it yourself.