Hevitra ato Anatiny
Super present for his twins, traumatized by the fall of his daughter, in search of a solution for the skin problems of her baby…. These three fathers tell us about the journey that led them to reorient their professional life.
“My whole vision changed: I started living for my daughters. “
Eric, 52 years old, father of Anaïs and Maëlys, 7 years old.
Before the birth of my twins, I was a self-employed consultant for professional software. I was on the move all week all over France and only came back at weekends. I worked in large companies, I also did the main ministries in Paris. I was having a blast in my job and making a good living.
When my wife got pregnant from the twins I was thinking about taking time off
A baby is work, so two! And then my daughters were born premature. My wife gave birth by Caesarean and couldn’t see them for 48 hours. I did the first skin to skin with Anaïs. It was magical. I watched over her and I took the maximum number of photos and videos to show them to my wife. I wanted to stay with them at home after the operation so that we could get our bearings. It was a pleasure to share these moments. My wife breastfed, I helped her by doing the changes, at night among other things. It was a team effort. Little by little, I extended my leave. It just happened naturally. In the end, I stayed six months with my daughters!
Being independent, I had no help, our savings were used up to the end.
At one point, we had to get back to work. I didn’t want to do so many hours anymore, I needed to be with my daughters. These six months spent with them were pure happiness and it changed my outlook! I started to live for them. The goal was to be as present as possible.
And it was very difficult to resume. After six months, you are quickly forgotten. I could no longer do consulting, because I no longer wanted to travel. So, I went for training on Suite office, Internet and social networks. Being a trainer allows me to organize my schedules as I want. I reduce break times and meal times. That way, I can get home in time to pick up my children and have my Wednesday free for them. I tell my clients that I don’t work Wednesdays and that I don’t work overtime. When you’re a man, it doesn’t always go very well… But that doesn’t bother me. I am not a careerist!
Of course, my salary is much less. It is my wife who gives us life, me, I bring the complement. I do not regret anything, for me it is a choice of life, it is not at all a sacrifice. The important thing is that my daughters are happy and that we have a good time together. Thanks to all this, we have a very close relationship. “
“Nothing would have happened without the accident of my 9 month old baby. “
Gilles, 50 years old, dad of Margot, 9 years old, and Alice, 7 years old.
When Margot was born, I had a strong desire for investment, a little hampered by the little paternity leave at the time. However, as I was a pharmacy trainer, I was quite autonomous and I was able to organize my days as I wanted. Thanks to that, I was able to be present for my daughter!
When she was 9 months old, a dramatic accident happened.
We were staying with friends and getting ready to say goodbye. Margot climbed the stairs alone and had a big fall. We rushed to the emergency room, she had a head injury and a triple fracture. She was hospitalized for seven days. Fortunately, she got away with it. But it was an unbearable and terrifying time. And above all, it was a click for me! I did some research and found that domestic accidents were very common and no one was talking about them.
I had the idea of organizing risk prevention workshops
So that it doesn’t happen to someone else, I had the idea of organizing risk prevention workshops, like that, as an amateur, for a few dads around me. For the first workshop, there were four of us! It was part of a process of repairing myself, like a kind of group therapy, although I had a hard time talking about it. It took me four years to dare to tell what happened. The first time I mentioned it was in my first book “My Daddy First Steps”. My wife, Marianne, urged me to talk about it. I felt terribly guilty. Today, I have not yet fully forgiven myself. I still need some time. I followed therapy at Sainte-Anne which also helped me. Two years after the accident, the company where I worked made a social plan. My chefs knew that I had set up regular workshops, so they offered to set up my company thanks to an exceptional voluntary departure bonus.
I decided to get started: the “Future Daddy Workshops” were born!
It was very risky. Already, I was leaving the salaried work for entrepreneurship. And, in addition, parenting workshops for men did not exist! But my wife encouraged me and has always been by my side. It helped me gain confidence.
In the meantime, Alice was born. The workshops have evolved over the growth of my daughters and my questions. Informing future dads can totally change the life path and the future of a family. This is what was my driving force. Because acquiring information can change everything. My whole gaze got stuck on the question of parenthood, fatherhood and education. None of this would have happened without my daughter’s accident. It is a very bad thing for a very good one, because in this extreme pain was born immense joy. I get feedback every day from dads, it’s my greatest reward. “
Gilles is the author of “New papas, the keys to positive education”, éd.Leducs
“If it weren’t for my daughter’s skin problems, I would never have been interested in this subject. “
Edward, 58 years old, father of Grainne, 22 years old, Tara, 20 years old, and Roisin, 19 years old.
I am Irish. Before my oldest child, Grainne, was born, I ran a business in Ireland that produced cotton wool and sold products made from it. It was a small company and it was hard to make a profit, but I really enjoyed what I was doing!
When my daughter was born I took a few days to be with her and my wife. I picked them up from the maternity ward with a sports car and on the road, I was proud to explain to my baby all his performances, because I love cars, which in fact made his mother laugh. . Of course, I quickly changed my car, because it was not at all suitable for transporting a newborn baby!
A few months after her birth, Grainne developed severe diaper rash
We were very worried my wife and I. We then noticed that the redness intensified after we wiped it off with wipes. She was screaming, crying, squirming in all directions, it had become clear that her skin could not stand wipes! This was obviously very new to us. So we looked for alternatives. As parents, we wanted the best for our daughter who struggled with sleep and was unhappy. I started to take a closer look at the ingredient list for the wipes. They were just chemical ingredients with unpronounceable names. I realized that we were using them on our child ten times a day, seven days a week, never rinsing! It was extreme. So, I looked for wipes without these ingredients. Well, that didn’t exist at the time!
It clicked: I thought there must be a way to design and make healthy baby wipes
I decided to develop a new company to create this product. It was very risky, but I knew there was a deal to be made. So I surrounded myself with scientists and academics, while continuing my other activity. Fortunately my wife was there to support me. And a few years later, I was able to create the Waterwipes, composed of 99,9% water. I am very proud of it and above all I am happy to be able to offer parents a healthy product for their baby. Without my daughter’s skin issues, I would never have cared about this. Becoming a dad is like opening a magic book. A lot of things happen to us that we do not expect at all, we are like transformed. “
Edward is the founder of WaterWipes, the first wipes made from 99,9% water.