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Update April 2012 – Notice to those who idealize conflict-free romantic relationships: repressing anger can shorten spouses’ longevity!
After a study1 surprisingly carried out in 2008 on 192 couples in a small town in Michigan, United States, the risk of dying would be higher for spouses forming a couple where anger is suppressed and conflict avoided.
This conclusion is the result of 17 years of observations during which couples were classified according to the attitudes demonstrated by spouses in conflict situations.
Among the 26 couples composed of partners who avoided conflict or who communicated little, the odds of both spouses dying prematurely were four times higher than in those where at least one of the two spouses regularly expressed his anger.
More specifically, in 23% of couples “without conflicts”, both spouses died during the study against 6% in other couples. Similarly, 27% of “conflict-free” couples lost a spouse, compared to 19% among other couples. These results persisted even after isolating other risk factors for death.
Differences between men and women
During the same period (1971 to 1988), 35% of men belonging to a couple where there was no strong verbal exchanges died, compared to 17% among other couples. Among women, 17% living in a conflict-free couple died, compared to 7%.
According to the author of the study, conflict resolution as a couple is a public health issue since by repressing it, anger adds to other sources of stress and contributes to shortening life.
“Because conflicts are inevitable, the crux is how each couple resolves them: if you don’t fix the problem, you are vulnerable,” concludes Ernest Harburg, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan.2.
Leave for a heartbreak! However, not all couples’ conflicts are resolved … However, in order to allow its employees to recover from a breakup, a Japanese marketing company – Himes & Co. – offers them leave, the duration of which depends on their age. For the employer, a romantic breakup requires a downtime “like when you are sick”. For example, those 24 and under can have one day off per year, while those 25 to 29 can get two days. Broken hearts aged 30 and over are entitled to a three-day respite each year. Perhaps one day the duration of this leave will be calculated according to the seniority … of the couple! From The Globe & Mail |
Martin LaSalle - PasseportSanté.net
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1. Harburg E, Kaciroti N, de Al, Marital Pair Anger-Coping Types May Act As an Entity to Affect Mortality : Preliminary Findings from a Prospective Study, Gazetin'ny fifandraisan'ny mpianakavy, Janoary 2008.
2. News release issued January 22, 2008 by the University of Michigan School of Public Health: www.ns.umich.edu [accessed February 7, 2008].