The sea wind moves through Marina’s hair. How nice on the beach! Such happiness is not to rush anywhere, to put your fingers in the sand, to listen to the sound of the surf. But summer is far away, but for now Marina only dreams of a vacation. It’s January outside, the dazzling winter sun shines through the window. Marina, like many of us, loves to dream. But why is it so difficult for all of us to catch the feeling of happiness here and now?
We often dream: about holidays, about vacation, about new meetings, about shopping. Pictures of imaginary happiness activate the neurotransmitter dopamine in our nervous system. It belongs to the reward system and thanks to it, when we dream, we feel joy and pleasure. Daydreaming is a simple and easy way to improve your mood, distract from problems and be alone with yourself. What could be wrong with this?
Sometimes Marina recalls a previous trip to the sea. She was waiting for her so much, she dreamed about her so much. It is a pity that not everything that she planned coincided with reality. The room turned out to be not the same as in the picture, the beach is not very good, the town … In general, there were many surprises — and not all pleasant ones.
We rejoice by looking at the perfect pictures that our imagination has created. But many people notice a paradox: sometimes dreams are more pleasant than possession. Sometimes, having received what we want, we even feel disappointed, because reality rarely resembles what our imagination painted.
Reality hits us in unpredictable and varied ways. We are not ready for this, we dreamed of something else. Confusion and disappointment when meeting a dream is the payment for the fact that we do not know how to enjoy everyday life from real things — the way they are.
Marina notices that she is rarely here and now, in the present: she dreams about the future or goes through her memories. Sometimes it seems to her that life is passing by, that it is wrong to live in dreams, because in reality they often turn out to be ephemeral. She wants to enjoy something real. What if happiness is not in dreams, but in the present? Maybe feeling happy is just a skill Marina doesn’t have?
We are focused on the implementation of plans and do many things “automatically”. We plunge into thoughts about the past and the future and stop seeing the present — what is around us and what is happening in our soul.
In recent years, scientists have been actively exploring the effect of mindful meditation, a technique based on developing awareness of reality, on a person’s well-being.
These studies began with the work of University of Massachusetts biologist professor John Kabat-Zinn. He was fond of Buddhist practices and was able to scientifically prove the effectiveness of mindfulness meditation to reduce stress.
The practice of mindfulness is the complete transfer of attention to the present moment, without evaluating oneself or reality.
Cognitive-behavioral psychotherapists began to successfully apply certain techniques of mindfulness meditation in their work with clients. These techniques do not have a religious orientation, they do not require the lotus position and any special conditions. They are based on conscious attention, by which Jon Kabat-Zinn means «the complete transfer of attention to the present moment — without any assessment of oneself or reality.»
You can be aware of the present moment at any time: at work, at home, on a walk. Attention can be concentrated in different ways: on your breath, the environment, sensations. The main thing is to track the moments when consciousness goes into other modes: assessment, planning, imagination, memories, internal dialogue — and return it back to the present.
Kabat-Zinn’s research has shown that people who have been taught mindfulness meditation are better at coping with stress, less anxious and sad, and generally feel happier than before.
Today is Saturday, Marina is in no hurry and drinking morning coffee. She loves to dream and is not going to give it up — dreams help Marina keep in her head the image of the goals she is striving for.
But now Marina wants to learn how to feel happiness not from anticipation, but from real things, so she develops a new skill — conscious attention.
Marina looks around her kitchen as if seeing it for the first time. The blue doors of the facades illuminate the sunlight from the window. Outside the window, the wind shakes the crowns of the trees. A warm beam hits the hand. It would be necessary to wash the window sill — Marina’s attention slips away, and she begins to habitually plan things. Stop — Marina returns to the non-judgmental immersion in the present.
She takes the mug in her hand. Looking at the pattern. He peers into the irregularities of ceramics. Takes a sip of coffee. Feels the shades of taste, as if drinking it for the first time in his life. He notices that time stops.
Marina feels alone with herself. It’s like she’s been on a long journey and has finally come home.