Inona no voalohany ho antsika? Manadio ny saintsika ny valin’io fanontaniana io, manatsotra ny fandaharam-potoanantsika, ary mitsitsy fotoana sy hery. Manome antsika fahafahana hanao izay tena sarobidy amintsika izany.
38 taona i Tatyana. Manan-janaka roa izy ary fomba fanao mazava manomboka amin'ny fanairana maraina ka hatramin'ny lesona hariva. Hoy izy: “Tsy misy itarainana aho, fa matetika aho no reraka sy sosotra ary tsy misy dikany. Toa misy zava-dehibe tsy ampy, nefa tsy azoko hoe inona izany.”
Many men and women live against their will on autopilot, set up and programmed for them by others. Sometimes it’s because they said “no” to themselves, but more often than not it’s because they didn’t dare to say “yes”.
Our personal life is no exception: over time, what we entered into a relationship for is overwritten by everyday life – everyday tasks and minor conflicts, so we are faced with the need to change something in relations with our loved ones. If we do not do this and continue to move “on the thumb”, then we lose strength and interest in life. Over time, this condition can turn into depression.
Fotoana ho amateur
“Clients with a similar problem come to me more and more often,” says medical psychologist Sergey Malyukov. – And then, for starters, I propose to decide: what really pleases you? Then find out how this feeling appears, why at this moment. Maybe this is the realization of some of your quality or trait. And they just can be the thread that will return the taste of life. It would be nice to remember yourself in those periods when everything was in order, and to understand what activities, what relationships occupied most of my life. Ask yourself why it was important.”
Afaka mandeha amin'ny lalana mifanohitra amin'izany ianao: mitoka-monina ireo hetsika sy fifandraisana izay miteraka fahaketrahana, fahasorenana, tsy fahafaham-po, ary ezaho fantarina ny tsy mety amin'izy ireo. Saingy ity fomba ity, hoy ny psikology, dia sarotra kokoa.
Tatiana nitodika tany amin'ny mpitsabo aretin-tsaina, ary nanasa azy mba hahatsiaro izay tiany nandritra ny fahazazany. “Tsy nisy na inona na inona tonga tao an-tsaiko tamin’ny voalohany, nefa tonga saina aho avy eo hoe: Nankany amin’ny trano fandraisam-bahiny aho! Tiako ny manao sary, saingy tsy ampy ny fotoana, nandao ity hetsika ity aho ary nanadino azy tanteraka. Taorian'ny resaka dia nanapa-kevitra ny hanohy izany izy. Rehefa nahita fotoana ho an'ny sekolin'ny zavakanto ho an'ny olon-dehibe, dia gaga i Tatyana raha nahatakatra fa nandritra izany fotoana izany dia tsy nanana fahaiza-mamorona izy.
Rehefa mahafantatra tsara ny fitsipika sy ny fitsipika isika ary miasa amin'ny autopilot, dia very ny fahatsapana ny zava-baovao, ny fahatairana ary ny fientanentanana.
Indraindray isika dia tsy miraharaha izay ilaintsika mandritra ny taona maro. Ny fialam-boly indraindray dia toa tsy misy dikany raha oharina amin'ny asa na andraikitry ny fianakaviana. Misy antony hafa koa mahatonga antsika hanadino ireo asa izay nanan-danja tamintsika taloha.
“They cease to please when they become a routine and the original idea is blurred, for the sake of which we started doing this at all,” explains Sergey Malyukov. – If we talk about a hobby or work, then this can be when we are pressured by too many ideas about how to do it right. For example, ideas that you need to achieve certain success by a certain date, use specific techniques, compare yourself with others. Such “external” installations over time obscure the essence of our business.
Ny maha-matihanina tafahoatra dia mety hitarika amin'ity vokatra ity ihany koa: rehefa mahafantatra tsara ny fitsipika sy ny fitsipika isika ary mihetsika amin'ny autopilot, dia very ny fahatsapana ny zava-baovao, ny hagagana ary ny fientanentanana. Avy aiza ny fahalianana sy ny fifaliana? Ny fomba hivoahana dia ny mianatra zava-baovao, miezaka manao zavatra hafa na amin'ny fomba hafa. Tsarovy ny dikan'ny hoe mpankafy. Ary avelao ny tenanao ho diso indray.
Tsy voafehy ny zava-drehetra
“Tsy fantatro izay tiako, tsy tsapako fa mahasoa ahy izany” … Ny toe-javatra toy izany dia mety ho vokatry ny harerahana mafy, ny havizanana. Dia mila fitsaharana feno fisainana sy feno. Saingy indraindray ny tsy fahafantarana ny laharam-pahamehanao dia tena fandavana, ao ambadik'izany dia misy tahotra tsy mahatsiaro tena ny tsy fahombiazana. Niverina tany amin’ny fahazazana ny fakany, rehefa nitaky vahaolana maika amin’ireo asa napetraka ho an’ireo dimy ambony ireo ray aman-dreny henjana.
Ny hany endrika azo atao amin'ny fihetsiketsehana mihetsiketsika manohitra ny fihetsiky ny ray aman-dreny tsy manaiky lembenana dia ny fanapahan-kevitra tsy hanapa-kevitra sy tsy hisafidy. Fanampin'izany, amin'ny fandavana ny hanamafisana, dia mitazona ny illusion of omnipotence sy mifehy ny zava-misy isika. Raha tsy misafidy isika dia tsy hiaina faharesena.
Tsy maintsy manaiky ny zontsika hanao fahadisoana sy tsy lavorary isika. Dia tsy ho famantarana mampatahotra ny tsy fahombiazana intsony ny tsy fahombiazana.
But such unawareness is associated with being stuck in the complex of the eternal youth (puer aeternus) and is fraught with a stop on the path of personal development. As Jung wrote, if we are not aware of the inner content of our psyche, it begins to influence us from the outside and becomes our destiny. In other words, life will again and again “toss” us with repetitive situations that require the ability to choose – until we take responsibility for it.
Mba hahatongavana amin’izany, dia tsy maintsy manaiky ny zontsika ho diso sy tsy lavorary isika. Dia hitsahatra ho mariky ny tsy fahombiazana mampatahotra ny tsy fahombiazana ary ho lasa ampahany amin'ny hetsika manaraka ny lalana izay nofidina ho antsika tsy ny fiaraha-monina, tsy ny maoderina, ary tsy ny akaiky, fa ny tenantsika ihany.
"Azontsika atao ny mamaritra hoe inona no tena zava-dehibe amintsika amin'ny alàlan'ny fanaraha-maso ny habetsahan'ny hetsika atao amin'ity hetsika ity na amin'izany hetsika izany manome hery sy loharano," hoy i Elena Arie, psikology mpandinika. "Ary ity farany, kosa, dia mamela anao handamina amin'ny fomba mahomby kokoa ny tebiteby, ny henatra, ny fahatsapana ho meloka ary ireo fahatsapana hafa izay manelingelina ny fifantohana amin'ny fanatratrarana tanjona." Noho ny fahafantarantsika izay zava-dehibe ho antsika, dia ho takatsika hoe inona ny herintsika.
The most important thing for them…
“Be present in your life. I often hurry myself and hurry others, I try to predict the future. I recently decided to change this. I try to stop, to ask myself what is happening to me at this very moment. I am angry? rejoice? I’m sad? Every moment has its own meaning. And then I begin to understand that it’s great to live.” (Svetlana, 32 years old, illustrator for children’s publishing house)
“Get rid of excess. This applies not only to things, but also to thoughts. I threw away the alarm clock: I don’t have to get up at a certain hour; sold the car, I walk. I gave the TV to a neighbor: I can live well without news. I wanted to throw away the phone, but my wife is calmer when she can call me. Although now we spend more time together.” (Gennady, 63 years old, retired, former Deputy Sales Director)
“To be among friends. Meet new people, get to know them and open up yourself, learning something about yourself that you didn’t know before. I found a small company on the web that produces printed T-shirts, I liked them. Recently, they published a message about financial problems. My friends and I bought several T-shirts for ourselves and as gifts. They sent us a letter of thanks. I don’t personally know the guys from the firm, but I was glad that I helped good people.” (Anton, 29 years old, procurement specialist)
“Do what you like. I worked as a lawyer in different companies for more than twenty years, and then I realized: I don’t like it. The son is an adult and earns himself, and I no longer need to strain for the sake of a salary. And I decided to leave the company. I always liked to sew, so I bought a sewing machine and finished the course. I made a few things for myself. Then for friends. Now I have more than fifty customers, and I’m thinking of expanding the business. (Vera, 45 years old, dressmaker)