Ny fiahiana ny zaza dia namana mandrakizay amin’ny maha-ray aman-dreny azy. Matetika anefa no tsy mitombina ny fanahiantsika. Afaka manahy foana isika, satria kely fotsiny no fantatsika momba ny toetran’ny vanim-potoanan’ny fahazazana iray, hoy i Tatyana Bednik, psikology momba ny ankizy.
Psikolojia: Araka ny traikefanao, inona no fanairana diso momba ny zaza iray ananan'ny ray aman-dreny?
Tatiana Bednik: For example, someone in the family had a child with autism. And it seems to parents that their child makes the same gestures, walks on tiptoe in the same way — that is, they cling to external, completely insignificant signs and begin to worry. It happens that mother and child do not match in temperament: she is calm, melancholic, and he is very mobile, active. And it seems to her that something is wrong with him. Someone is worried that the child is fighting over toys, although for his age this behavior is completely normal, and parents are afraid that he is growing up aggressive.
Mirona loatra ve isika hitondra ny ankizy toy ny olon-dehibe?
T. B.: Eny, matetika ny olana dia mifandray amin'ny tsy fahampian'ny fahatakarana ny atao hoe zaza, inona no endri-javatra ny taona manokana, hatraiza ny ankizy dia afaka mandrindra ny fihetseham-pony sy ny fitondran-tena araka izay tiantsika. Ankehitriny ny ray aman-dreny dia tena mifantoka amin'ny fampandrosoana tany am-boalohany ary matetika mitaraina: mila mihazakazaka fotsiny izy, tsy azonao atao ny mampipetraka azy hihaino angano, na: ny ankizy iray ao amin'ny vondrona fampandrosoana dia tsy te hipetraka eo amin'ny latabatra ary hanao. zavatra, fa mandehandeha manodidina ny efitrano. Ary ity dia momba ny zaza 2-3 taona. Na dia 4-5 taona aza dia sarotra ny mijanona.
Ny fitarainana mahazatra iray hafa dia ny hoe maditra ny zaza kely iray, mipoaka ny hatezerana, ampijalian'ny tahotra izy. Saingy amin'izao vanim-potoana izao, ny cortex cerebral, izay tompon'andraikitra amin'ny fifehezana, dia tsy mbola mivoatra, tsy afaka miatrika ny fihetseham-pony izy. Any aoriana kely vao mianatra mijery ny zava-misy ety ivelany izy.
Ho tanteraka ve izany? Sa miankina amin'ny ray aman-dreny ny ampahany?
T. B.: It is very important that parents understand and feel sorry for him! But most often they say to him: “Shut up! Stop it! Go to your room and don’t come out until you calm down!» The poor child is already so upset, and he is also expelled!
Or another typical situation: in the sandbox, a 2-3-year-old child takes away a toy from another — and adults begin to shame him, scold him: “Shame on you, this is not your car, this is Petina, give it to him!” But he just doesn’t understand yet what is “mine” and what is “foreign”, why reproach him? The formation of the child’s brain is very dependent on the environment, on the relationships that he develops with loved ones.
Indraindray dia matahotra ny ray aman-dreny fa azon'izy ireo aloha ilay zaza, ary avy eo nijanona ...
T. B.: Yes, it can be difficult for them to rebuild and understand that it is changing. While the child is small, the mother can behave with him very reasonably and correctly, she insures him and allows him to take the initiative. But now he has grown up — and his mother is not ready to take a step further and give him more independence, she still behaves with him in the same way as she did with the little one. Especially often misunderstanding occurs when the child becomes a teenager. He already considers himself an adult, and his parents cannot accept this.
Ny dingan'ny taona tsirairay dia manana ny asany manokana, ny tanjony manokana, ary ny elanelana misy eo amin'ny zaza sy ny ray aman-dreny dia tokony hitombo sy hitombo, saingy tsy ny olon-dehibe rehetra no vonona amin'izany.
Ahoana no hianarantsika hahatakatra ny ankizy iray?
T. B.: It is important that the mother, from the earliest age of the child, looks at him, reacts to his slightest changes, sees what he feels: tense, scared … She learns to read the signals that the child sends, and he — her. It is always a mutual process. Sometimes parents do not understand: what to talk about with a child who still cannot speak? In fact, communicating with the child, we form these connections with him, this is mutual understanding.
Saingy mbola misy zavatra tsy hitanay. Ahoana no ahafahan’ny ray aman-dreny miatrika ny fanamelohana?
TB: It seems to me that everything is simple. We are all imperfect, we are all «some» and, accordingly, raise «some» and not ideal children. If we avoid one mistake, we will make another. If a parent eventually sees clearly and sees what he made a mistake, he may think about what to do with it, how to move on now, how to act differently. In this case, the feeling of guilt makes us wiser and more human, allows us to develop.